4 Superhero Movies That Should’ve Dropped The Superheroes

Superhero movies have managed to stay fresh by grabbing other genres and sticking superheroes in them. Logan is a Western / road movie in which half of the characters happen to have knife-knuckles. Winter Soldier is an espionage thriller with some Stark tech thrown in. The problem is that you quickly realize that sometimes the superhero stuff is a totally unnecessary layer, there to get us to choke down the real story they wanted to tell, like the bit of cheese you use to get your dog to swallow his heartworm pills. So can some of these franchises be improved just by taking out the superheroes? Probably!

4

Daredevil Would Be More Badass If It Was Just Kung Fu

One of the headscratchingest things about Daredevil is how he’s presented as a man with a disability, and said disability is then immediately rendered moot. Whatever underdog appeal his blindness granted him is gone just because he drank a nuclear milkshake or whatever. He can see sound, his reflexes are like those of a cat tweaking on speed, and the only lingering effects of his blindness are in his clothing choices.

Netflix“How do we look, guys? All of us in the leather costumes and masks we all agreed to wear?”

Now suppose Daredevil didn’t gain the superhuman abilities that we all secretly believe nuclear waste will grant us, and instead was just an exceptional martial artist — you know, the core of any awesome kung fu movie. Now he’s a sightless hero who’s so in tune with his own damn awesomeness that he doesn’t need to see jack shit, because his enemies’ clumsy punches sound like freight trains coming through the darkness. It’s pure skill that allows him to bend like a reed in the wind and uppercut their testicles into their chest cavities.

The addition of superpowers just cheapens that, which is probably why the Netflix series downplays the “radioactive waste made his ears work better” element so much that it might as well not be there. The only possible argument you could make for why he can’t merely be a blind badass is that it’s not realistic … and, just, come the fuck on.

Without that arbitrary need to hit all of the standard superhero beats, Daredevil doesn’t even need the silly costume. He can do what Murdock does early on in the show, just covering his face with a rag if he needs to protect his identity. The bad guy can still be a ruthless criminal businessman. You can even throw in some ninjas. Not zombie ninjas, regular ones (yes, let’s try one of these stories in a universe in which death is actually permanent). Make Murdock a guy who trained hard his whole life to overcome the loss of his sight, something he felt was a limitation that he turns into a strength — a tribute to his father, whom he always viewed as a tough but limited man. He’s a hero only because his discipline and drive are off the charts, not because he also got spritzed with radioactive pixie dust during a random traffic accident.

3

Suicide Squad, The Western

I will preface this whole entry by saying I watched Suicide Squad again in order to write this article, and I’m extremely unhappy about it. The problems with that movie are much more apparent on a second viewing, because your brain doesn’t let you focus on why you didn’t like it the first time. Like Viola Davis’ voiceover during the scene with Harley and the Joker in his shiny shit car when she says Harley is crazier and more fearless, then 20 seconds later, we watch Harley scream in panic because the Joker is driving them off a bridge.

Suicide Squad is such a good idea on paper. It’s a motley crew of thugs and miscreants forced to work together to achieve a noble end … which immediately falls apart when you introduce the Enchantress ‘ vague and confusing plan and powers, her weird bobblehead minions, Diablo’s inexplicable plot twist, and the entirety of Killer Croc’s being. Now try to imagine that movie with the stuff you like — some of the characters and interactions, the overall premise — without any of the magical shit. Now imagine everyone in those assless chaps, and what have you got? That’s right, a Western.

You could do a more imaginative Magnificent Seven, with no need to include Joker by Calvin Klein, a guy who eats a goat, or the Enchantress’ never-ending insidious belly-dancing routine. Just a government that has inside information on seriously psychotic brother and sister duo who have an iron grip on a frontier town (or a Mad Max post-apocalypse, if you’re not feeling the Western theme), killing with impunity, terrorizing the locals, and building their own army. Are they strip-mining, cornering the market on moonshine, breeding a superior longhorn? Who gives a shit — do you even remember what the smoky magic lady was trying to accomplish, or why?

What matters is that there’s a mess that needs cleaned up, and enough people have already been lost that the authorities don’t want to send in anyone important. Enter our gang of flamboyant outlaws who can use the chance to prove themselves in exchange for freedom, or die trying because they’re the goddamn Suicide Squad! A sharp shooter, a firebug, a deformed cannibal, an Aussie outlaw, a samurai, a hot chick with a bat. All of it playing out in wide-open sunny spaces, as they ride through open countryside instead of the dark, claustrophobic, filmed-inside-Hot-Topic’s-butthole movie that we got. (The vistas symbolize the freedom the characters are trying to achieve!) You can even keep the same cast. Minus Jared Leto.

2

Spawn, The Existential Horror

I remember buying the first issue of Spawn when it hit the shelves back in the day, when I had to walk six miles to the comic book store in the snow, while I was on fire and constantly getting polio. I bought every Image #1 when they came out — even Youngblood — because obviously no one was around to warn me not to. And I loved Spawn, thought it was a great book. When the movie came out, I won tickets to see it opening night and was pretty stoked. Then I saw it, and this entry will be the last we ever speak of such things.

Spawn worked best in comic form when it got dark. Super dark. And why not, it’s about a soldier who goes to Hell and gets enlisted to be one of Hell’s elite. He comes back to Earth in part to hone his abilities, and ends up remembering who he was and fighting to save his humanity via some good old-fashioned heroism. But also he looks like a bag of charred assholes, he’s got a bit of a bloodlust, and there are people and monsters worse than him everywhere.

Now, I’m willing to keep the “went to Hell” stuff in my version — that’s obviously key to the character — but not the superhero element. It bogs down the movie at every turn. The big, insane cape that had to be CG’d into the movie because it’s like 16 sentient tablecloths sewn together, the goddamn Violator played by John Leguizamo, who’s a little fat clown that you can’t take seriously, the supervillain plan involving an apocalyptic biological weapon … Strip away the comic cliches, and what you have left is a beautiful story of existential horror.

Imagine being the kind of person who tries to be good, but mostly does bad. You get betrayed and murdered like a sucker, and you find out there’s life after death. You go to Hell and then you get spit back up, with no identity, no face save for the barbecue scrotum mask the devil gave you. Now you must piece things back together, years after you died, trying to salvage who you are — if you even are you any more — while seeking revenge on those who did this to you.

It winds up playing out like a demonic possession, but inverted — a good force inside a malevolent one, a man brought back as a monster, trying to nurture and restore the humanity within while his very existence is fueled by a hellish need for vengeance. And maybe his nemesis is still a clown of some kind, if that’s important to you.

1

Catwoman, The Corporate Thriller

I had managed to go through my whole life without seeing this movie in its entirety up until I decided to write this, and man did I miss out. This movie is so good. Every scene is so perfectly crafted in a baffling storm of bumblefuckery. It’s like art that was somehow made by a drunken elephant shitting into a paint store. But if we’re being honest with each other, it did not work as a superhero movie so much as it worked as a majestic fuckfarce.

There’s no need to pretend that any of the “Catwoman” part of Catwoman worked. Just watch that goddamn basketball scene — the weirdly flirty, awkward, and uncoordinated shit dance between Halle Berry and Benjamin Bratt — and that’ll put your mind to rest on that issue. But the central story of the film is about a low-level nobody stumbling upon grand-scale corporate douchery and then being targeted for a wicked-hard murdering to keep it quiet. Now that’s a movie.

Granted, the thriller wrapped up in a ball of Catwoman yarn is not entirely different from a lot of what passed for engaging cinema in the ’90s — The Net, The Pelican Brief, The Firm. Lots of “The” movies, it was a whole thing. How is this different? Well, Catwoman is supposed to be a thief, and the movie pays very minimal lip service to this briefly, and poorly. But say she is a thief, and a good one, and it’s in her thieving that she discovers the shady business about the company she works at during the day, her cover story job. Now — without magical goddamned cat powers — she’s stuck trying to cover her own ass and expose the abject shittiness of Sharon Stone.

Essentially, you can make the same movie, but take every part that involved actual cats, douse it in gasoline, and burn it back to the hack writing Hell from whence it came. Fill in all the holes you made with cat burglar plots and Sharon Stone murdering the Merovingian, and you may well create a film that won’t sweep the Golden Raspberry Awards.

If you think you could write a better superhero movie, get a move on it with a guide to scriptwriting from Celtx.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

More From this publisher : HERE ; This post was curated using : TrendingTraffic

 


RELATED PRODUCTS
  • mymoviepass has the best rates online because we only charge you for your movies.
  • Learn How To Earn Extra Money In Your Spare Time, By Watching Movies From Home
  • A complete step-by-step guide for women to unlock the deepest attraction instinct in any man.
  • Join Our Community To Learn All About Commodity Trading And Show Off Your Trading Skills
  • The stunning secret of turning your wife on with the push of a button.
  • PS3magic linux games software allows you to play movies music dvd and other applications.
  • Put small animated peel image at the top corner right or left on webpage
  • Destroy workout plateaus and trash boring and outdated interval workout with 51 news
  • Clickbank Ads
     

    If you like our content help us with a share… or two …  

    Also -  I have some free stuff for you .......

    Nr 1. In This FREE Report you can Discover:

    Secrets to acquiring the freshest, hottest leads via YouTube In-Stream ads quickly and easily! Best secret tips for the most effective targeting for your ads! Totally legal, but little-known method for literally stealing traffic from your competitors! Get more traffic to your videos and landing pages without spending a fortune! And much more - all within this special FREE report!

     

    Nr 2. Did you know you can Absolutely EXPLODE YOUR EMAIL LIST FOR FREE with UNTOUCHED offline sources?

     

    Nr 3. The #1 secret to becoming an affiliate superstar - Earn your first $100 online – without a dime to invest.

    If you’re still looking to “make it online – I have just the thing for you. It’s a video series that shows how to make your first $100 online – even if you don’t have a dime to invest. Yes – nothing.  Free.  Nada. Is this possible? You bet. It’s the most powerful system used by those “in the know”. Good things don’t have to be difficult. And they don’t only come to those who wait. Have A Look

     

    Nr 4. Top 10 Email Marketing Mistakes. Which of these mistakes do you make?

     

    Nr 5.  You can learn about : The hottest social networking site that will send an unlimited stampede of traffic to your site - for FREE! How to quickly locate a swarm of hungry buyers using "information portals"! The fast and easy way to use simple images to siphon targeted traffic, on command! Learn how to get the most possible traffic from Instagram, and make sure that traffic converts! And much more ...

     

    Nr 6. It’s no secret… Facebook is an incredible place to get tons of free, viral traffic. But… most people are going about it all wrong.  How many of these mistakes are you making? Download the free report to find out.

       

    Nr 7.  Special free report .  It's called "Operation Midas Touch" and you can download it here...

    The report features a surefire method for generating at least $1000 per week online,without a website or product of your own!

    Nr 8.  Instagram is still one of the hottest ways to get a LOT of traffic fast. All by sharing images. Sounds easy enough, yeah? Well, yes and no. If you want to really start driving a lot of  traffic and making sales using Instagram then you should download this report.

    Nr 9.  When it comes to creating a product online there are so many ways to approach it. Wouldn’t it be great to just get the meat of it all so you can get started faster? Well, the good news is, today you can download a guide called the Product Creation Formula Quickstart Guide. It’s as the title suggests - a Quickstart guide. You’ll get a list of action steps to take right away. Download your copy today !

    Nr 10. Would you like to finally USE all of that dusty PLR you have sitting around on your harddrive? Or maybe find the resources for the best PLR available - at the best prices? What about how to use that PLR to make you money with just a few minutes of work. Well, you’re not going to want to miss this!

      Nr 11. Buzzfeed’s top post has more than 21 million views. Think about that for a sec… ONE of their articles has had over 21 million people who have read it! And they have thousands of articles... what would you do with that kind of traffic? A friend of mine hacked their method and was able to use it to get 11,592 targeted new subscribers in 2 weeks on their very first attempt!

    Nr 12. Push notifications are one of today's hottest trends in website traffic and conversions, and for good reason. Studies have shown that as many as 40% of people will opt-in for push notifications, which is about TEN TIMES the rate of people who opt-in for emails! That’s huge! Not only that, but they're also highly effective at pulling clicks, as well. Some studies have shown CTR at an average of around 40%, with highs of as much as 80%! Again, that’s huge!

    Nr 13. Would you like to know how to get more money from the exact same number of website visitors you’re currently getting? Even if you’re website is getting as few as 1-2 visitors a day, this report will show you how to increase your profits using these few handy hacks.

    Nr 14. People have now realised that it's not the size of the list which matters, it's the quality. ... and the only way to create a quality list is by launching your own products. Let it be $7 ebooks, $17 info products, $27 video training product or software's... all of these work. My good friend Kevin Fahey has is revealing how he's launched over 20 products in the past 4 years, many of them top sellers. Needless to say he's banked a handsome amount in this time.

    Nr 15. Do you ever feel that the man you like or even love, just doesn't see you or desire you in way you want him to? Or... maybe you're able to get a man's attention though not the right kind of attention? Or... maybe you're still single because you wait and wait for men to approach you first? What you may not know is that the way we flirt will either attract the "wrong" man for us or the "right" man.

    Nr 16. When it comes to getting sales and leads online, there is ONE thing that 95% of marketers use... it's called a LIST. My friend Jimmy just released a free book that explains WHY a list is important and how YOU can build your own list. It's available right here (and it won't cost you a penny)

    Nr 17. If you have tried everything, and still aren't able to get your Ex back, then you need to pay attention.

    Nr 18. What if I told you that you could make ANY woman WANT to do ANYTHING for you? Would you think I'm crazy? Well... what If I told you that you could also make her LOVE every minute of it and come back for more?

       

    Nr 19. I have a special free plugin for you today. It's called "Covert Hover Mini"

    This plugin will triple your blog traffic by compelling your visitors to share your images on social media. This is some really clever stuff and it works like a charm. After you grab your free plugin, don't  forget to read the free bonus report as it will show exactly how and why this strategy works like crazy.

    Nr 20. The days of being able to get away with a basic WP theme and a pic or two are gone, your site needs to look good. Even Google are looking for you to have engaging graphics on your site. But getting good quality graphics made for your site is a pain, AND it will cost you both time and money (if you outsource it). But I have a special free download for you today. A virtual treasure chest of over 21K profit pulling graphics you can start sing today to generate more traffic & sales!

    Nr 21. 20 professional full HD background videos. These background videos are perfect for giving your videos that extra kick they need to stand out from the crowd Oh yeah they are in full 1080p HD too, I hope you'll enjoy them.

    Nr 22. If you've ever failed to create a WordPress site of your own or typically waste hours & even weeks trying to figure it all out on your own....

    Nr 23. No doubt, you've seen all of the video launches lately! There is a reason for it... Video marketing is a GREAT way to make money, and with the recent creation tools making it super accessable for anyone to get started... It's no surprise that more people are making videos. However... there is a missing element to most video marketing products...

    Nr 24. For the first time ever... You can get the straight scoop on how someone is selling over $1,000,000/year of t-shirts on Facebook!

    Use them  .... and have fun !